I did It for My Husband	Back to E	Back to main page

Collected by Djian
updated oct 25 - 2009

Another story by Vulgus
Vulgus Collection

Comments? Criticism? Email vulgus@hotmail.com
Story codes: M/f, D/s, IR, bnd, Humil, coer, exhib, wimp, beast, ws.

To that small group of disturbed people who have enjoyed my
previous efforts and encouraged me, thank you.

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I Did It for My Husband
by Vulgus

Chapter 1


Someone was finally moving in next door. We hoped it was going to be a decent couple for a change. Someone around our age would be nice. The last couple of tenants left a lot to be desired. We were very happy and more than a little relieved when the last guy moved out almost six months ago. He was a pig in so many ways.

He was an excellent example of the worst kind of biker. He came and went at all hours of the day and night on his extremely loud motorcycle. It wasn't just him, either. He was forever having loud parties and his driveway, his yard and the street out front would be full of those big, obnoxiously loud motorcycles that hurt your ears if you were outside when they rode past the house.

Whenever those animals were around I was afraid to go outside. They would whistle at me or make crude remarks. I was scared to death of them. My husband was, too. He tried not to show it. But I could tell.

I couldn't blame him. Even the women that hung around next door looked quite capable of beating up my husband. And they seemed more than willing to prove it.

After one of their all too frequent parties we usually had to spend an hour picking up cans and bottles from our yard. They would toss their empties over into our yard all night long as if they were daring us to say something to them about it.

Of course we didn't dare.

And in all the months he lived next door to us I doubt if he cut his grass more than two or three times. To say that we were very relieved when he moved out really doesn't fully convey how momentous that day was for us.

The problem for the landlord was that the biker and his friends tore the house up so bad it took them months to get it ready to rent again. We were inconvenienced again because during all that time we had to call the realtor on a daily basis for weeks before they would send someone out to cut the grass. A couple of times Jimmie just gave up and cut the grass next door himself.

I guess I don't need to tell you that we don't live in a very nice neighborhood. Jimmy and I got married almost two years ago, right after high school. He had a good job all lined up. There weren't many jobs in our town. But he found something in the next town and we were so happy to finally be living together as man and wife.

We rented a nice apartment with some of the money we saved up while we were still in school. Well, to be honest they were his savings. I had been lucky to afford an occasional meal before we married.

We didn't get a honeymoon. Jimmie went to work a week after we graduated. But it didn't matter. We were just happy to be together.

Jimmy didn't want me to work. He is pretty old fashioned. I didn't have any burning desire to go to work. But I thought I should get some kind of job just to help with the finances.

Jimmie wouldn't hear of it. When I tried to argue that we could really use the money he quoted his preacher and the bible about a woman's place. I didn't buy into all that religious crap. But to please Jimmie I stayed home like a good wife and cooked and cleaned house.

Jimmie is very religious. As far as he is concerned the bible is the final word on everything. I wouldn't want Jimmie to know it. But I was really just going along for his sake. I don't know if I've ever really given it a lot of thought. But to be honest, I can't ever remember a time when I believed in god.

It didn't take long for things to start going wrong in our life. Jimmie got fired after only four months at his new job for bringing things home from work. He insisted that they were just things that were going to be thrown out and that everyone did it. But his boss fired him for theft.

Jimmie insisted that it was a vendetta by his boss because he thought Jimmie was after his job. I believed him at first. You want to believe your husband wouldn't steal anything.

But when I found out what it was they said he was stealing I had to wonder. It was just some office supplies. I don't believe they were worth a lot of money. But they were all new and still in the box. I think Jimmie was too embarrassed to admit to me that he was stealing and that he lost his job over less than twenty dollars worth of office supplies that we didn't even need.

We didn't have much money saved up. So it was only a few weeks before he came home from job hunting and told me that we were going to have to move. He was having trouble finding a new job and we couldn't afford the rent on our apartment.

I was more than a little upset. I kind of liked the apartments we lived in. I had made a couple of friends there and we had access to a nice pool. Another big plus was that we lived near the center of town so I could walk to the store. That's handy since we only have the one old car that Jimmie drove in high school.

We tried to think of some other solution to our problems, some way to come up with a little extra money to tide us over. Jimmie still stubbornly insisted that I stay home. We had more than a few arguments over that.

We had no relatives that we could borrow from. My only living relative was my mother. She was in a nursing home suffering from early onset Alzheimer's disease. The nursing home quickly consumed what little savings she had a long time ago. Now the Government was paying to keep her in the home.

Jimmie's mother ran off a long time ago. His father spends more time in jail than out and we are careful to assure that he doesn't find out where we are. We are on our own and we know it. That is why we were both starting to feel pretty desperate. It looked like it wouldn't be long before we were living in our car.

Our situation was looking pretty hopeless by the time we saw someone moving in next door. Jimmie looked out the window one Sunday afternoon and saw our new neighbor struggling to move a sofa all by himself. He went over to give him a hand and find out a little about him.

He came back an hour later and informed me that he had invited our new neighbor to join us for dinner. It was a good thing that we were having meatloaf. But then, most of our meals were either meatloaf or spaghetti.

Jimmie told me what little he was able to learn about our new neighbor. He is an older guy in his mid forties. He is in the middle of a divorce. That's why he is moving into our rundown area of town. He is still paying for his soon to be ex wife to live in their home. He isn't well off or anything. But he has a franchise for one of those quickie oil change and lube shops and he is probably doing better than anyone else on this rundown street lined with tiny old houses that were nearly all in need of new roofs, fresh paint and landscaping.

Our new neighbor returned the pickup truck he borrowed to move his furniture and went home and cleaned up before coming over for supper. He brought a twelve pack of beer and a bottle of wine with him.

I was introduced to Gary. He is a pretty big guy. He is probably about six foot two and I bet he weighs two fifty. He has a good start on a beer belly. But if he would work that off he wouldn't be bad looking. He has black hair and a nice enough smile, except that his smile doesn't seem to reach his eyes. When I look into his eyes I get the impression that he is smiling politely at a customer he doesn't think much of.

Well, that was the way he looked at Jimmie. He flat out leered at me and he didn't care who knew it! He made me very uncomfortable.

He hardly spoke all evening. When he did speak it was usually to make an off color remark to me. To listen to him you would think he was trying to pick up a girl in a bar somewhere! He ignored the fact that my husband was in the room listening to every word!

He drank half a dozen beers over the course of the evening. But the alcohol wasn't responsible for his rude behavior. He started talking to me that way as soon as we were introduced.

I drank two small glasses of wine. I'm still only nineteen and I have almost no experience with alcohol. So I'm probably more susceptible to its effects than a lot of people. But even the soothing effects of the wine didn't make our new neighbor's rude behavior any easier to ignore.

Jimmie helped drink the beer and rattled on like an idiot all evening. He must have been very nervous. I've never seen him behave like that before. I was embarrassed for him. He sucked up to our new neighbor so hard it made me sick.

I guess he got what he wanted out of it, though. Before he left, Gary invited Jimmie to come to his shop in the morning to fill out a job application.

I thought that Jimmie was excited all out of proportion to what just happened. In the first place, the job only pays minimum wage. Granted, that beats the hell out of no income at all and living on food stamps. And I guess it would do his ego a lot of good to finally be employed again. But it wasn't enough money to get us out of this awful neighborhood.

I could foresee another problem that was bound to arise if Jimmie took that job. Even I had a higher mechanical aptitude than Jimmie. Jimmie is good with words. He is intelligent and it was our hope that we could reach a point that we could afford for him to start taking college courses at the local community college in the evening.

But when it comes to things mechanical, Jimmie has a learning disability. He is only just able to change a light bulb. I was afraid that Jimmie's new job wouldn't last very long.

I kept my doubts to myself, though. Instead I asked, "Did you see the way he looked at me all evening?! And those crude comments! That guy really gives me the creeps!"

Jimmie just shrugged it off. "I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, Kendra. Hell, you can't blame him for looking. You know you're hot! Guys look at you all the time. We've been married for almost two years and I still can't take my eyes off of you!"

That was what he said. It wasn't what he was thinking. He couldn't meet my eyes when he said it. He knew that Gary behaved inappropriately this evening. But he was so desperate for that job that it didn't matter.

I just shrugged and left it at that. It was over now. There was no sense fighting about it. I went in and finished cleaning up the kitchen and we went to bed.

We got up early the next morning. We only had cold cereal for breakfast. We couldn't even afford coffee anymore. But I sat with him while he ate a bowl of cereal before going to see Gary about the job.

He called me an hour later and said that he had the job and was starting immediately. He would be home at six thirty this evening. He also said that Gary was going to buy some steaks and join us for dinner again so that we could celebrate.

I was happy for Jimmie. But I still had the same misgivings. And I was definitely unhappy about Gary spending another evening in our home. I promised myself to do what I had to do, just like Jimmie was. I knew Jimmie wasn't going to say anything to Gary about his behavior. What's worse, I knew that I didn't have the nerve to say anything to him, either. I am much too meek to defend myself from his crude comments and leering.

I was looking out of our living room window at six thirty when Gary got home. He glanced at my house but then disappeared into his house. He got cleaned up and changed and came to my front door carrying a bag of charcoal and another twelve pack of beer before Jimmie got home.

He stared at my breasts when I answered the door and said, "I gave Jimmie some money to pick up some steaks and a few other things on the way home. I need to get into your backyard and get the charcoal going.

I was not comfortable being alone with this crude man. But I could think of no reason to refuse him. I stepped back like a timid little girl to let him in.

He handed the beer to me and told me to put it in the refrigerator. He told me to get one out for him and bring it to him out back. He talked to me as if I worked for him! He didn't ask me, he ordered me!

And I meekly followed his instructions!

I brought him a beer out on the small cement pad behind our house that the realtor had called a patio. He ordered me to hold his beer for him while he finished getting the charcoal going. While he spread out the charcoal and lit it he said, "Don't tell your husband I said so. I don't want to discourage him. But he is just about worthless around the shop. I hope he just has first day jitters. He ain't too bright is he?"

I tried to explain that Jimmie was bright, he was very bright. He just wasn't used to doing mechanical things. I was still arguing his case when Jimmie stuck his head out and said, "Everything is on the kitchen counter. I'm going to take a shower."

Gary ignored him. I told him to hurry. I was very nervous about being left alone with my husband's crude boss.

As soon as Gary lit the charcoal he took his beer from me. He flashed me that leering grin of his and said, "To tell you the truth, if you weren't so damn hot I wouldn't have hired his wimpy ass. You are really something to look at. I don't know what that kid did to trick you into marrying him. But I'll bet he thanks his lucky stars every night when he watches you getting ready for bed. You've got the whole package, Kendra. If you are half as hot in bed as you are just standing there I bet you could kill a guy in the sack. But what a way to go!"

I gasped in shock. I felt my face turn bright red. But I was too intimidated to tell him off and he knew it. I wheeled around and went into the kitchen to see what Jimmie bought for dinner.

There were three rib eye steaks, a tub of potato salad from the deli, some chips and a chocolate cake. It was a complete meal, minus the salad.

I put the meat and potato salad in the refrigerator and stood in the kitchen trying to force myself to calm down. Gary came in and headed through the kitchen to the living room. On the way through he said, "Pour a glass of wine for yourself and join me. Let's get better acquainted."

It was an order, not a request.

I didn't really want a glass of wine. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to tell him that. I poured a small glass and reluctantly joined him in our small living room.

As I walked in front of Gary to take a seat he said, "I can't tell if it's more fun watching you coming or going! If you are half as good in bed as you look it would explain why your husband can't hold a wrench. You're probably screwin' that poor geek half to death."

I gasped in shock while he chuckled at his own crude joke and my embarrassed reaction. I finally found it necessary to try to put a stop to this. These constant references to my sex life were not something I could tolerate, no matter who was making them. I didn't want to put Jimmie's job in jeopardy. But I won't be talked to like this in my own home!

I suppose that my words might have carried more weight if my protests were not made in a nervous whisper. I stared down at the threadbare rug and whispered, "Please don't speak to me like that. I'm a good Christian woman."

It isn't true, of course. Or at least it isn't true that I am a Christian. But I am a good and proper woman and I couldn't stand the way he was talking to me.

He laughed and responded, "Even Christian women like gettin' shagged! That's why there's so damn many of them."

I heard a slight sound and looked up to see Jimmie standing in the doorway. He was nearly as red as I was. He looked very embarrassed. But he smiled weakly and didn't say a word.

Things didn't improve when Jimmie joined us. Gary ordered us both around all evening. He sent Jimmie out to check on the charcoal and then to cook the steaks. He ordered me to set the table and far too often throughout the evening he would order me to get up and get him another beer. He treated us like servants!

The off color remarks became more crude and more frequent as the evening progressed. And as the evening wore on he started touching me. He never put his hands where he shouldn't, or at least not quite. He would let his hand rest on my lower back, just a little too low for comfort. But not quite low enough that I felt comfortable saying anything to him about it. Or he would let his hand rest on my shoulder with his fingers hanging down and not quite touching my breast. I was tempted to get up and leave the room on many occasions. Unfortunately I didn't have the nerve.

Jimmie faked a smile and let his new boss say and do anything he wanted as if it was all just good fun.

It wasn't fun! That horrible man was unbearable. But he was our only source of income and he knew it. We were forced to tolerate his increasingly off color remarks. I began to wonder if Jimmie would say anything if Gary were to give in to the temptation and grab my breast or let his hand rest on my butt.

He finally got up to leave just before nine. I almost cried in relief when I realized that he was leaving. I couldn't stand another minute in the room with this crude man!

It was over for tonight. But it wasn't over. He stood up to leave. He took a couple of steps and stood in front of me. He reached into his back pocket and said, "Since you don't have anything in the house to eat, you take this money and buy something for supper tomorrow. I'll take Jimmie to work with me. It don't make sense for us both to drive to the same place. That way you can have the car to go shopping. I want you to be wearing a dress or a skirt tomorrow. A sexy little thing like you shouldn't be wearing pants."

He reached out his hand as if he was going to shove the bills into my top. At least that was what it looked like he intended to do. I reached out to block his hand. He grinned and shoved the bills into my hand instead. I was so shocked by what he had just tried to do that it took a moment for his words to sink in. But when they did...

HE WAS TELLING ME HOW TO DRESS!!!

I was even more embarrassed about my own timid reaction. I just sat there in shock and watched him leave without objecting to his tone of voice or his presumptuous demands.

Jimmie escorted him to the door. As soon as he returned to the living room I exclaimed, "Why do you let him say those horrible things to me?! Did you see the way he kept touching me?! Are you really going to let him tell me what clothes to wear?!

Jimmie shrugged and said, "It's just the way he is. What do you want me to do? He's my boss. Do you want me to quit? Or worse yet, get fired from another job?"

I was tempted to mention that if he didn't try to steal office supplies we didn't even need he wouldn't have been fired. But I knew he already felt bad enough. I realized that Gary's words and actions were an assault on Jimmie's manhood and he wasn't all that secure to start with. So I bit my tongue.

I didn't even look at the money Gary stuffed in my hand, although I'm certain that wasn't where he intended to put it, until I went out to the kitchen to clean up. He had handed me fifty dollars!

I was excited about having that much cash to spend on a meal for the first time in months. But at the same time I felt dirty for taking it. I felt like a prostitute! He talked dirty to me and leered at me all evening. He kept touching me as if he had every right to put his hands on my body. And then he gave me money. I was so upset that I wanted to cry.

Jimmie helped me clean up the kitchen and then we went to bed. As we lay there in the dark it occurred to me that it has been more than two weeks since we made love. We used to do it almost every night. But we began to do it less and less after he got fired. It had been my hope that when he found a job we would begin to make love more often again. I miss making love.

I suppose that Gary's attacks on Jimmie's manhood weren't helping. I thought about trying to initiate sex with him. I have never done that before and I was embarrassed at the very idea of being so forward. But even if I had the nerve, I wouldn't know what to do or say to entice him.

The next morning, before Jimmie went next door to catch his ride to work, I asked him what he wanted for dinner. He blushed. He was reminded of what happened last night and what would undoubtedly continue this evening. He shrugged and said, "I don't care. Whatever you want is fine with me."

He started to leave but before he reached the door I called after him, "Jimmie, do you want me to wear a dress tonight?"

He turned back around and I saw what his true feelings were. They were clearly displayed on his tortured face. But he answered, "I guess it wouldn't hurt."

I suppose that I wasn't surprised that Jimmie was willing to let me go along with his new boss's outrageous behavior and his even more outrageous demands. He had yet to object to anything that Gary did or said. I was beginning to wonder just how far Gary was going to push us, and how much Jimmie would allow before finally standing up for me. I was beginning to lose respect for Jimmie and that bothered me. How could there be love without respect?

I cleaned up the house and got dressed to go shopping. I don't get to drive very often. Whenever I go anywhere Jimmie is normally with me and he does the driving. I was a little nervous about driving his car. But I went to the store just before noon and thankfully the traffic was light.

I bought a large roast for dinner. We could never afford a nice piece of meat like that so I didn't normally even stop to look at them. I was shocked at the price. Just the roast cost thirty-eight dollars. I also bought some potatoes and corn. When I went through the checkout the fifty dollars Gary gave me last night disappeared in an instant.

I drove home and planned the meal so that it would be ready at seven. Unfortunately, there was very little to occupy my mind after that. I was unable to stop thinking about having to spend another uncomfortable evening with that horrid man who lived next door and seemed to be taking over our lives. This was not the life I had in mind when I married Jimmie.

I puttered around the house until it was time to start the roast. I put it in the oven and peeled the potatoes. After that there wasn't much to do until Jimmie got home.

I spent most of the day going back and forth in my mind about what I was going to wear this evening. I decided that I had to stand up for myself. I was going to wear pants. Then I had to decide if I should come up with something to say to defend my clothing choice or just let the pants speak for themselves.

I felt like if I wore a skirt I would somehow be surrendering to Gary. I didn't want to do that. And yet, at the last minute I went to my room and put on a sundress. I was furious with myself for caving in. But I couldn't stop myself. I tried to convince myself that I was doing it for Jimmie. I knew that wasn't true. I was doing it because I was intimidated by Gary.

I heard Jimmie coming in the front door as I was coming down the hallway from our bedroom and I went to greet him.

I stopped when I saw him. He looked ... I can't describe it. He looked like something terrible had happened.

I thought at first that he must have been fired. But looking at his face I knew that it was more than that. There was a strange look on his face. It was a mixture of horror and ... I don't know.

I have never seen that look on anyone's face before and it was scaring me.

Looking at him made me want to cry out. I was sensing a vague feeling of panic beginning to build in me and I didn't even know what it was I was afraid of.

Jimmie wouldn't look me in the eyes. He stood just inside the door. He didn't speak, he didn't look up. He just stood there. His face was bright red. He looked like he must have been crying.

Looking at him terrified me. My fears grew as he stood there like that, totally silent. I finally could stand the suspense no longer. I had to ask, "What's wrong?!"

He didn't move or speak for a long time. I knew that something terrible had happened now. When he still didn't speak I exclaimed, "Jimmie you're scaring me! Did you get fired?"

He shrugged noncommittally and finally said, "I still have a job."

But he spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

I was losing my patience. I finally exclaimed, "Jimmie! What the hell is wrong?!"

He sighed and said, "Let's go into the kitchen. I need a drink. Then I'll ... I'll try to explain."

I followed him into the kitchen. He got a beer out of the refrigerator and gulped it down all at once. He started to sit down at the kitchen table. But then he groaned as if in pain and stood back up.

He had tears in his eyes when he asked me to sit down. It was only then that he seemed to notice that I was wearing a dress. I saw the recognition in his eyes. I was dressed to please Gary.

I didn't want to sit down. I wanted to put my arms around him and comfort him. But he insisted. So I took my seat and stared at him, terrified. What could have happened to make him behave this way?!

He got another beer out. He sipped this one more slowly. He sighed deeply and said, "I screwed up today. I mean I screwed up bad. I was changing this guy's oil and I guess that somehow I replaced his drain plug wrong. They said that I cross threaded it and the oil leaked out after the customer left. Now Gary has to replace the guy's engine."

I whispered, "Oh Jimmie!"

He had tears running down his cheeks when he whispered, "And somehow I blew up one of the compressors at the shop. Those things cost a fucking fortune!"

He almost never used the "F" word around me! I was so surprised that at first I didn't stop to think about how much money he cost Gary today. I don't know how much an engine costs. I know it's thousands of dollars. I was afraid to ask about the compressor. I don't even know what a compressor is! But it sounds expensive.

I didn't have to ask. "Gary showed me the estimates this afternoon. All together, the engine rebuild, including the price of the rental car for the customer, and the compressor comes to almost nine thousand dollars."

Now I was glad that I was sitting down. I would have surely fallen if I had been standing. Nine thousand dollars! We couldn't even afford food!

Now I was crying too. I could only imagine how furious Gary was. He was not an easy going or a forgiving man. I could not believe that he didn't fire Jimmy on the spot!

I asked, "What are we going to do? How can we pay him pack? What did he say? I can't believe he didn't fire you!"

Jimmy was still crying. He still wouldn't look at me. And he still didn't explain. The silence was getting very uncomfortable. I finally asked again, "Jimmy, what's going on? What did Gary do if he didn't fire you?"

Jimmy whispered in a choked voice that I almost couldn't understand, "He started to fire me. But then he said if he did that he'd never get his money back. He did things to me. He told me that until he got his money back we belong to him."

I didn't understand what he was saying. It didn't make sense. But what really made me curious was that strange statement that Gary "did things" to him. What in heaven's name did that mean?!

I waited for him to explain. But he just stood there with tears running down his cheeks. His face was bright red. He looked like a little boy, a hurt, scared little boy.

In exasperation I finally exclaimed, "Jimmy! Tell me what's going on! What did he do to you? And what do you mean that we belong to him? I don't know what that means."

Jimmie started crying harder. He finally said, "He spanked me. He pulled my pants down in front of everyone and beat me with his belt. And then he made me ... he made me do something to him."

I stared at him in shock. His boss beat him with a belt and he just let him?! And what did he mean by do something to him?

I was nearly as upset with Jimmie as I was with Gary. I was getting tired of having to drag this out of him. Finally I said, "Stop this, Jimmie! Tell me what he did! Tell me what you mean by belong to him. I don't belong to anyone!"

He finally looked at me. It was a desperate look. I was torn between feeling sympathy for him and despising him. This little boy standing across the table from me is not the man I thought I married.

Jimmie looked away again. He finally said, "He made me ... I had to suck his cock. Right there in front of all the men I work with he made me kneel down with only a t-shirt on and suck his cock."

I stared at him in total disbelief. But before I told him what I was thinking I waited for the last part of the explanation. There was something that he still wasn't telling me.

I struggled to hear him as he explained at last. "From now on, Gary owns us. We are his slaves. He is going to make you work at the shop. You will have to wear whatever he wants. And he ... you are going to have sex with him whenever he wants."

I screamed, "I AM LIKE HELL!!"

Jimmie looked at me and sobbed, "Please, Kendra. If we don't ... Kendra, I'll never be able to get another job. Not ever! And he can take us to court and get a judgment against us. Kendra, I have to work there. I don't have a choice. We'll end up homeless. We have no money. There is no one we can ask for help. I have a record of being fired for theft and now ... well, you know what I did. And one of the guys took pictures of what Gary made me do today. Gary said that if I gave him a hard time he would see to it that anyone that wanted to hire me found out about them. He even threatened to frame me for stealing parts from his storeroom. He has me on the surveillance system getting parts out to restock with. He'll just say that it was never my job to restock and the parts have disappeared."

I could not believe what he was suggesting! I could not believe that he would permit Gary to use me like his own personal sex slave!

"Jimmie! Are you out of your mind! I can't do that! How can you even ask that of me?! Let's run away! Now! Let's pack our clothes and get out of here."

He looked at me balefully and whined, "Don't you think I thought of that?! Where would we go? We have a balance of seventeen dollars in the bank. We only have about ten gallons of gas in the car. Where do you want me to take you and what will we do when we get there?"

My mind scrambled for some alternative to the unthinkable. There had to be something, some way out of this. This was the twenty-first century. There were no slaves in this country. I finally said the only thing that I could think of.

"Call the police. Tell them what he did to you. Tell them what he wants from us."

"Tell them what, Kendra?!"

"He assaulted you! He wants to enslave you ... us! He is going to rape me!"

Jimmie sighed and said, "It wasn't assault. I let him do it. He made me give him permission to spank me. And then he forced me to offer to suck his cock in front of the other guys. And it won't be rape when he comes here tonight. If you don't let him he won't rape you. If you refuse he will leave without a word. He'll just ... destroy me. He'll have me put in jail and when I get out I'll never work again. You'll be homeless and broke. You tell me, Kendra! What do I do?"

I stared at him, unable to form a rational thought. I'm only nineteen. I have no idea how to deal with a situation like this!

He looked at the clock and in that hopeless, despondent voice he said, "I have to go get ready. He'll be here soon. You need to make up your mind what you are going to do."

I stared at his back as he turned to leave the room. Before he was out of earshot I asked incredulously, "Is this what you want me to do?! Do you want me to let him ... rape me?"

He stopped, but he didn't turn around to face me. He hesitated for a long moment. Then he said, "It isn't what I want. But I can't think of an alternative. Can you?"

He started to leave the room again. But he stopped and said, "I don't want to go to jail, Kendra. I couldn't survive in jail. I know that I'm weak. But I know what will happen to me in jail. That terrifies me."

There was another pause. Then he said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I got you into this mess. But I don't know how to get out."

He sounded so much like a scared little boy that my own terror ballooned almost out of control. Then his head fell forward and it looked like he was collapsing in on himself as he went to get cleaned up and changed for dinner.

I was done in the kitchen. There was nothing for me to do but wait and think. The meal was ready to serve and the table was set. I had nothing to do but stare blankly at the wall and try to imagine what Gary would require of me, and try to decide if I could actually do what he wanted.

I had argued with myself most of the day about wearing a dress because Gary ordered me to. How could I possibly ... oh god! I can't even think it!

I thought back to the last two evenings. Gary came over for dinner each night and as soon as he got here he started giving me orders. And for some reason, even though I was offended by the way he ordered me around, I obeyed him and I tried to ignore his off color remarks.

I could still not imagine myself becoming Gary's sex slave. But thinking about it, I wasn't sure that I could fight him either. I seemed incapable of saying no to him.

>> Chapter 2

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